Meditation 101

Recently I have had a few friends ask me about meditation.  "How do you do it?"  "How do I stop thinking?"  "What is supposed to happen?"  These questions led me to contemplate this post, where I will describe meditation in my own words and relay what has worked for me, as well as incorporate some passages from a wonderful book I just finished reading  (thank you Maureen) called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron, who is an American Buddhist. 

I started experimenting with meditation a few years ago.  For me, it was a slower process.  I didn't decide to  just "become a meditator" one day.  In all the reading I was doing about yoga and spirituality, meditation was always discussed as a critical component to awakening.  I would read the words but was not at the point where I was ready to commit to it nor did I fully understand its importance in the process.

I recall a few evenings years ago when I had experienced a particularly stressful day at work or when something in my life was causing me anxiety to the point where my mind was working overtime and I could feel the negative, draining impact it was having on my body.  Often times, I would turn to a nice big glass of red wine (or two or three) to relax.  This is typical.  When we feel we have reached "our edge" and whatever we are feeling becomes unbearable, we usually turn to habits that we have developed as an escape...and these things are usually something outside of us (alcohol, shopping, watching TV, surfing the net or even healthier activities like walking in nature or exercise.)  At other times, we experience a subtle feeling of restlessness, uneasiness or boredom.  In either case, these activities we channel our energy into may certainly provide a temporary reprieve and some pleasurable feelings, but it is never sustainable no matter how hard we try.  This is frustrating so instead the feelings we are trying to escape from actually become stronger. 

However, on a few occasions I was compelled to just sit with what I was feeling in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I could just shut my mind off for a little bit and get some relief.  This did not work very well in the beginning!  I would light a candle, sit on the floor, try to breathe and observe my thoughts and feel like I was going to jump out of my skin.  Looking back, I recall noticing the instinct to just bolt...to get up, give up, and turn off the timer I had set for myself.  And many times in the beginning, I did just that.

However, I was still compelled to stick with it.  The turning point, I believe, was around the time I began practicing yoga on a regular basis and things just started to click for me.  However, I believe with the right intention you can start to notice a difference immediately by sitting in silence for short periods of time.  My goal is to help give some guidelines for anyone who might be new to but curious about meditation.  Here is how I would describe the method that worked for me, and the results I began to notice in my life. 

Start slowly - In the beginning, set a timer for five minutes at a time.  I made the mistake of attempting longer stretches right off the bat, which I do not think I was capable of in the beginning.  I believe you will notice results even with five minutes of meditation a day.  As you gain more practice and feel more comfortable, you will crave it and will actually want to sit for longer.  I feel that 20-30 minutes twice a day is a reasonable goal to work towards.

Sit comfortably with a straight spine - I usually sit in a cross legged position on a mat, pillow or yoga block.  As my yoga teacher Maureen pointed out it is important to have your hips higher than your legs in order to remain comfortable.  I make sure I am dressed warmly or covered with a blanket.  I personally avoid laying down because it is too easy to fall asleep and it is important to remain alert.  Place your hands in whatever position feels right for you.  (Some options are palms up or down on your thighs, or in a prayer like position with your thumbs up and finger tips lightly touching.)

Close your eyes and breathe normally - this is pretty self explanatory.  Also, come into your body and notice the physical sensations of sitting, your clothing, your breath and the surrounding room.  Basically, be totally present.

Begin to notice your thoughts - this is all you have to do.  It sounds simple but in reality can be quite challenging.  Your thoughts are powerful energy forces and have the ability to sweep your "observer self" right off the shore and into the fast, turbulent current.  When you notice you have been "carried away" by a thought and are playing out a story line in your head, return to focusing on your breath and just note objectively that you are thinking.  You can even say to yourself "thinking" and return to focusing on your breath.  As Pema Chodron says "It's no big deal."  It is what our minds were made to do; our brains are thought generating organs.  To me, the goal of meditation is to notice anything and everything that comes up...both "good" and "bad" thoughts and to not judge them as either.  Just notice.

Start over (and over and over again) - beginning again and again is the whole act of meditation practice.  My instinct is that people might expect to automatically be in some continuous, altered state of mind during meditation.  This may come later but not without years of practice and countless times of simply starting over when you have noticed you are lost in your thoughts.   Remember, as soon as you become conscious that you have become involved with mental chatter you've freed yourself from it! 

The goal of meditation is to hold the space for ourselves to experience our own wide range of emotions, thoughts and beliefs so that we are embracing ALL of ourselves and not blocking or shutting anything down. Through this awareness and experience we discover that there is something much deeper inside of us than the energy fields of thought.  This allows us to connect with our soul, or the life force inside of us ..our true self.  My description of this place is accessible, beautiful, peaceful, blissful, ever-present, expansive, light, and totally unshaken by anything that life can throw our way.

Our ego (or thoughts, beliefs and emotions) are a major block to coming to this place and the only way to penetrate it is to begin to notice the grip our ego and emotions have over us.  So just notice that you are thinking and notice the intense emotions that rise and swell within yourself....and stay with whatever you are feeling, just noticing and observing.  Once this wave passes,  you are still there and you will slowly remember there is something else underneath all of the layers of "junk" we have piled on ourselves over the years; our pure, loving, joyful self that was present at birth and has always been with us because it IS us.

The first word that comes to mind when describing what has occurred in my life as result of yoga and meditation is "spaciousness."  As one example, I am not as likely to become hooked by a negative thought that pops into my head.  This is different than never having negative thoughts, which is a very lofty, if not impossible, goal to achieve.  According to Pema Chodron, "The goal (with meditation) is not to try to get rid of thoughts, but rather to see their true nature.  Thoughts will run around us in circles if we buy into them but really they are like dream images.  They are like an illusion...not really all that solid."  So for me, the negative thoughts are still there but because of my broader awareness and the space created through meditation, there is now room for me to break the cycle by noticing the thought and saying to myself "Just thinking" instead of immediately feeling a negative emotion as a result of the thought...which leads to the vicious cycle of more negative thoughts and feelings.  I am no longer trapped.

 Additionally, instead of reacting to situations or circumstances in life with typical, conditioned and often unconscious responses, meditation allows space for more intuitive, authentic and truthful action to arise.  Suddenly, we begin to see things with a different, almost crystal clear perspective. 

As Albert Einstein said "We cannot solve problems at the same level of consciousness that created them."

Meditation in Motion

I started my B1 Health Coaching class this week and one of the first topics that we delve right into is the importance of yoga as a self awareness tool.  As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, yoga would fully justify its place in our world as a fantastic workout and great way to stretch your muscles if that was all it offered.  However, it is SO MUCH MORE.

Yoga has been around for thousands of years.  I can't think of many other things that have been as sustainable.  It's because it works and is a proven way to integrate mind, body and spirit.  This integration is the only way to lead to longterm healing, health & happiness.  Yoga also provides a gateway to one's authentic self and the opportunity to access unlocked potential.

On your mat (and off during "real life,") the key is to stay completely present in your body as well as your mind.  To observe every sensation, thought, feeling and resistance that comes up.  When you reach what is called your "edge" in yoga practice...when a physical or emotional sensation becomes so overwhelming that you want to flee from it, you have a choice.  Physically, you can choose to stay with the feeling (as long as it is not pain you are feeling...you must have the presence of mind and body wisdom to recognize the difference.)  This is when you might create a little bit more length or opening in a posture and when you grow in your physical  practice! 

Emotionally, something might surface that you become aware of.  You can choose to completely feel this emotion or to stuff it back down inside.  If you allow yourself to really feel it, you might realize that this thought or emotion does not serve you anymore and that you have no more room for it in your life.  This simple observation will decrease it's holding power on you while helping you to realize that YOU are not your thoughts.   You will then begin to shed layers upon layers of false beliefs that have been built around your soul over the years and come closer to revealing your authentic and peaceful self.  For this process to begin however, you must feel these thoughts & emotions and face them head on, which is not always easy. 

If none of this makes sense to you, don't worry! It didn't to me either until I started practicing yoga on a regular basis.  I assure you, however, that through the simple act of meditating (either "in motion" during yoga or by sitting quietly and simply observing your thoughts) that something truly magical will happen to you.

Sam I Am

Sam's rocking Adho Mukha Svanasana (Downward Facing Dog)

I just completed another yoga weekend and am 16 hours closer to my certification.  Yay!  Every weekend of this training deserves an entire blog entry on its own...the combined energy of the women in this program is just incredible and the weekends are so inspiring, rejuvenating and revealing to me.  However, I have decided to dedicate this post to my beautiful friend Sam (see past entry re: our divine intervention as well as picture above and below.)  Today was a very special day, as Sam completed the program and graduated!

I have learned so much from Sam in the short two months I have known her.  She is pure positive energy and love.  She has a beautiful, almost child-like joy and awe for the world around her.  She is known as the resident "crier" in the teacher training program, which I adore.  She wears her heart on her sleeve and just loves her yoga so much that the tears come every time she speaks about it.  She seems so comfortable in her skin and sure of what she wants to do in this world: to someday be a mom and to teach yoga to children.  I know that yoga had everything to do with her being able to so freely express herself the way she does today, which is so inspiring to me as a beginner in the program and quite honestly, as someone really learning how to be completely myself.

I know that Sam came into my life for a reason, and she says the same about meeting me.  Sam is here for me as I learn to release my attachment to material things, labels and thoughts around how things "should be."  Sam is far removed from the "keeping up with the Jones" mentality and lives a peaceful life doing what she loves: just being herself in the world and not giving a second thought to what anyone else thinks about her choices. 

She says I am here at just the right time in her life to offer support and wisdom as she contemplates beginning the journey towards the event that she has been anticipating more than anything in her life: becoming a mother.  And I cannot wait to watch her become the beautiful, loving and energetic mom that I know she will be.  I hope that I can be exactly what she needs during this time of her life.

The following is an excerpt from Sam's presentation that she gave today as part of her graduation requirements:

"...what I have known since I first stepped on my mat is that I need to share this with the younger generations.  I feel that if children were given the gift of yoga at a young age it would benefit them for the rest of their lives.  The gift of breath and movement sounds so simple, but this is where the lessons begin.  To show them how they can control how they feel simply by how they breathe; how to reduce stress, create energy, and detoxify their bodies so they can perform to their highest potential, that is my wish.  To teach them that lengthening their bodies and relaxing into a posture can bring peace of mind and body.  And to teach them that when times are trying and they feel anxious, worried or any emotion that is not pleasant to them, their yoga is there for them off the mat too.  Yoga will always be there whenever they need to access it to overcome any opposition that may arise in their lives.  These are lessons that have been passed down for centuries from sages that are much more knowledgable and enlightened than I am, but to have the opportunity now to pass on what I can to young people is an honor and a privilege.  I feel that teaching yoga to children will have an impact long after I have left this Earth."

Sam....as Maureen said...."Step into it."  I also say "Let your light shine," because the world will be a much brighter place.  Congratulations my friend.

Sam just being Sam

Reflection and New Beginnings

Today marks the one year anniversary of a day that changed my life.  It was the day I was laid off from my sales job and stripped of one of my major external identities.  For me, this year has been a juxtaposition of significant hardship and deep contentment; of great uncertainty and also a peaceful knowingness that I have never experienced before.

I have been transformed and will continue to transform.  Do I attribute this solely to the event of losing my job? No, although I definitely believe it to be a trigger event that propelled me further along the path of personal growth and development, which is why I am choosing to recognize this particular day. 

Anyhow, I have been contemplating how to share my experiences and revelations with those who are closest with me, so I have decided to enter the world of blogging.  I feel it is important for me to share my soul in order to continue to live an authentic life.  The transformation that is ocurring within me is much too great for me to not talk about with my closest friends and family.  Additionally, I am realizing that as I awaken to my true self/nature that I am choosing to end certain behaviors that do not serve me or my core values anymore and the thoughts I express here may help to offer an explanation for any changes seen in me.  Rest assured, I am not going through a crisis or trying to latch on to a new identity.  Rather, these changes are inevitable as I awaken to my true nature and gain a heightened sense of self awareness.  Through practices such as yoga, meditation and self study I have expanded my consciousness and the result has been unparalled feelings of health, wholeness and well-being that I have never experienced before.  So another goal with sharing this information is that it might resonate and help someone advance on his or her own personal journey towards optimal health and well being.  I truly believe this way of being and living is accessible to everyone and is what we, as humans, are destined for.
 

Without going too far back in history, I will just say that my life has always been rich with blessings.  Like many, I know that on the outside I appeared to have everything I could possibly want, and I did.  However, like many people have been known to say, I felt that something was missing; like there had to be more to life than what I was experiencing.  When I felt this way, I would instantly feel guilty or judge these thoughts, dismissing my feelings by telling myself I had everything I could possibly want.  Clearly, I was looking to all things external for peace and happiness.  I also used to blame these feelings on a lack of inspiring work, which I definitely think was part of it, but one must take full responsibility for their own well being and happiness.  (In regard to work, I also believe it is not necessarily WHAT you are doing but HOW you do it that really matters.)  Long story short, these feelings inspired me to explore the subject of personal growth, self development and spirituality.  Some of the earliest books and teachers that I exposed myself to were Dr. Wayne Dyer (specifically Manifest Your Destiny) and Eckhart Tolle (The Power of Now and A New Earth).  These books were instrumental in shifting my consciousness from just my thoughts to the awareness behind my thoughts.  According to Dr. Elliott Dacher in his wonderful book "Integral Health, The Path to Human Flourishing" it is a very important shift to be able to simply observe the mind, as it frees up some space between a thought and your emotional reaction to it, offering a significant release from needless suffering.  I also started practicing yoga.  As I continued down this path of inner exploration I knew in my heart that I was not doing work that inspired my soul.  And I struggled with that, yet I still did not know exactly what I wanted to do.  (Now I have learned that I could not have reasoned my way to figuring out what my true calling was or forced a solution, but believe me, I definitely tried!)  Becoming a mother was also an overwhelmingly tranformative experience that caused me to further realize the importance of never wasting a second of this precious life.  It also made me determined to set an example for my daughters on what it means to live a life of integrity and wholeness.

So one year ago today, when I was called into the conference room to receive the news that the company I worked for was reducing its sales staff by almost half, I knew that this was a gift from the universe to allow me time to pause, reflect and create the exact life I wanted for myself.  Being 9 months pregnant with my second baby, it was also clearly a blessing to have unexpected time home with my children.

I will not say it has been all rosy.  Losing your job is still traumatic and it took its toll both financially and emotionally on our family.  But I strive to remain thankful for all that shows up in my life, particularly the challenges, as they certainly do provide the most opportunity for growth.  This year has been a prime example of that for me.  While there is still a long road to get to where I dream of being, I can say with complete certainty that I am enjoying every step of the journey.

  

I could not have guessed looking ahead one year that I would be enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training Program.  In addition to this, I have decided to begin a 10 month program next week to earn a Health Coaching Certification through B1 Community (www.b1community.com).  Many of you might be wondering what this term "Health Coach" really means.  That's ok, it even took me a while to wrap my head around it, which I think is an indication of our culture's connotation of the word "health." (Most people think primarily of the physcial body, but the type of health I am referring to is an integration of a person's body, mind and spirit, which creates everlasting, sustainable health and wellness and authentic happiness.)

So here is my best explanation.  The following is taken from the reading assignment for my first class:

"In North America, we come from a mechanistic, fragmented perception and are moving into one of wholeness and connection. This is called the paradigm shift and can be seen in every field. It began to be noticed in the 1940s with quantum physics and has spread to all areas of our culture.

It is important to realize that the creation of the B1 Health Coaching role matches the paradigm shift. The role is an integrated one based on wholeness and connection. B1 health coaches address the whole person--body, emotions, mind, energy and spirit. Generally speaking, these areas have been divided up so that doctors take care of the physical body, the psychologists care for the mental and emotional aspects of a person, the person of the church attends to the spiritual needs and almost no one in North America until recently has worked with the energy system of a person. B1 health coaching is based on the concept that all systems are connected to one another.

In conclusion to this very lengthy blog post, I would like to share a few additional excerpts that really spoke to me from "Integral Health, The Path to Human Flourishing" by Dr. Elliott Dacher.

"All of us want a life of authentic health, happiness and wholeness.  We want to go beyond our usual sense of health and life.  We want to live with purpose, passion, intimacy and joy.  But you have to want that with your whole being.  You have to want that more than the comfort of what you now know because authentic health will change you.  Conventional health is simple.  Just follow what you've learned.  A far-reaching health requires a transformation of the mind and heart.  This holistic and evolutionary shift results in integral health.

What is holding us back?  Why have we settled for ordinary health when so much more is possible?  The answer is so close that it is difficult for us to see.  We've been trained to deal with suffering, distress and disease by looking outside of ourselves by relying on remedies, therapies, techniques, health practicioners, self help, and self-improvement programs.  Similarly we have been trained to look outward for happiness seeking pleasure from materialism, success, fame, romance, sexuality, alcohol and drugs.  These can comfort us for moments but cannot transform our ordinary health into enduring, exceptional health.

For this we need to redirect our efforts.  We have been looking outward towards wordly experiences rather than inward towards our essence.  That is our dilemma in the West.  We have gained mastery over the physical and lost touch with the spiritual.  To transform life and health we must shift our gaze inward where we will find the ever present source of exceptional health and healing.

Each of us is given a sealed envelope at birth containing a map with instructions that can take us to a precious health and life.  At several points in each lifetime we are given the opportunity to open this envelope and discover its inner contents.  Perhaps it is through a communion with nature, the arts, or athletic competition where we briefly touch an elevated state.  Or perhaps it is a brush with serious disease, death or loss, manybe an unexpected moment of illumination and inspiration, or a persistent and unrelenting sense that there is more to life than we are living.  Some of us will be profoundly and permanently moved by such experiences, grasp the opportunity and begin down the path toward what were previously unknown and unimagined possibilities.  Yet most of us will be too busy, too content, too quick to apply a remedy and diagnostic label to suffering, too preoccupied with the materialism of life or too hypnotized by everyday existence.  Caught in the perpetual cycle of day to day life with its alternating pleasures and pains, some of us will let this uniquely human opportunity slip away unnoticed.  We will pass this unopened envelope on to the next generation, assuring ourselves of a "normal" life and ordinary health, leaving the deeper mystery and its treasures for others to ponder." 

I know that I have never wanted to settle for ordinary with anything, especially when it comes to my life!  How about you?