Meditation 101

Recently I have had a few friends ask me about meditation.  "How do you do it?"  "How do I stop thinking?"  "What is supposed to happen?"  These questions led me to contemplate this post, where I will describe meditation in my own words and relay what has worked for me, as well as incorporate some passages from a wonderful book I just finished reading  (thank you Maureen) called "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron, who is an American Buddhist. 

I started experimenting with meditation a few years ago.  For me, it was a slower process.  I didn't decide to  just "become a meditator" one day.  In all the reading I was doing about yoga and spirituality, meditation was always discussed as a critical component to awakening.  I would read the words but was not at the point where I was ready to commit to it nor did I fully understand its importance in the process.

I recall a few evenings years ago when I had experienced a particularly stressful day at work or when something in my life was causing me anxiety to the point where my mind was working overtime and I could feel the negative, draining impact it was having on my body.  Often times, I would turn to a nice big glass of red wine (or two or three) to relax.  This is typical.  When we feel we have reached "our edge" and whatever we are feeling becomes unbearable, we usually turn to habits that we have developed as an escape...and these things are usually something outside of us (alcohol, shopping, watching TV, surfing the net or even healthier activities like walking in nature or exercise.)  At other times, we experience a subtle feeling of restlessness, uneasiness or boredom.  In either case, these activities we channel our energy into may certainly provide a temporary reprieve and some pleasurable feelings, but it is never sustainable no matter how hard we try.  This is frustrating so instead the feelings we are trying to escape from actually become stronger. 

However, on a few occasions I was compelled to just sit with what I was feeling in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, I could just shut my mind off for a little bit and get some relief.  This did not work very well in the beginning!  I would light a candle, sit on the floor, try to breathe and observe my thoughts and feel like I was going to jump out of my skin.  Looking back, I recall noticing the instinct to just bolt...to get up, give up, and turn off the timer I had set for myself.  And many times in the beginning, I did just that.

However, I was still compelled to stick with it.  The turning point, I believe, was around the time I began practicing yoga on a regular basis and things just started to click for me.  However, I believe with the right intention you can start to notice a difference immediately by sitting in silence for short periods of time.  My goal is to help give some guidelines for anyone who might be new to but curious about meditation.  Here is how I would describe the method that worked for me, and the results I began to notice in my life. 

Start slowly - In the beginning, set a timer for five minutes at a time.  I made the mistake of attempting longer stretches right off the bat, which I do not think I was capable of in the beginning.  I believe you will notice results even with five minutes of meditation a day.  As you gain more practice and feel more comfortable, you will crave it and will actually want to sit for longer.  I feel that 20-30 minutes twice a day is a reasonable goal to work towards.

Sit comfortably with a straight spine - I usually sit in a cross legged position on a mat, pillow or yoga block.  As my yoga teacher Maureen pointed out it is important to have your hips higher than your legs in order to remain comfortable.  I make sure I am dressed warmly or covered with a blanket.  I personally avoid laying down because it is too easy to fall asleep and it is important to remain alert.  Place your hands in whatever position feels right for you.  (Some options are palms up or down on your thighs, or in a prayer like position with your thumbs up and finger tips lightly touching.)

Close your eyes and breathe normally - this is pretty self explanatory.  Also, come into your body and notice the physical sensations of sitting, your clothing, your breath and the surrounding room.  Basically, be totally present.

Begin to notice your thoughts - this is all you have to do.  It sounds simple but in reality can be quite challenging.  Your thoughts are powerful energy forces and have the ability to sweep your "observer self" right off the shore and into the fast, turbulent current.  When you notice you have been "carried away" by a thought and are playing out a story line in your head, return to focusing on your breath and just note objectively that you are thinking.  You can even say to yourself "thinking" and return to focusing on your breath.  As Pema Chodron says "It's no big deal."  It is what our minds were made to do; our brains are thought generating organs.  To me, the goal of meditation is to notice anything and everything that comes up...both "good" and "bad" thoughts and to not judge them as either.  Just notice.

Start over (and over and over again) - beginning again and again is the whole act of meditation practice.  My instinct is that people might expect to automatically be in some continuous, altered state of mind during meditation.  This may come later but not without years of practice and countless times of simply starting over when you have noticed you are lost in your thoughts.   Remember, as soon as you become conscious that you have become involved with mental chatter you've freed yourself from it! 

The goal of meditation is to hold the space for ourselves to experience our own wide range of emotions, thoughts and beliefs so that we are embracing ALL of ourselves and not blocking or shutting anything down. Through this awareness and experience we discover that there is something much deeper inside of us than the energy fields of thought.  This allows us to connect with our soul, or the life force inside of us ..our true self.  My description of this place is accessible, beautiful, peaceful, blissful, ever-present, expansive, light, and totally unshaken by anything that life can throw our way.

Our ego (or thoughts, beliefs and emotions) are a major block to coming to this place and the only way to penetrate it is to begin to notice the grip our ego and emotions have over us.  So just notice that you are thinking and notice the intense emotions that rise and swell within yourself....and stay with whatever you are feeling, just noticing and observing.  Once this wave passes,  you are still there and you will slowly remember there is something else underneath all of the layers of "junk" we have piled on ourselves over the years; our pure, loving, joyful self that was present at birth and has always been with us because it IS us.

The first word that comes to mind when describing what has occurred in my life as result of yoga and meditation is "spaciousness."  As one example, I am not as likely to become hooked by a negative thought that pops into my head.  This is different than never having negative thoughts, which is a very lofty, if not impossible, goal to achieve.  According to Pema Chodron, "The goal (with meditation) is not to try to get rid of thoughts, but rather to see their true nature.  Thoughts will run around us in circles if we buy into them but really they are like dream images.  They are like an illusion...not really all that solid."  So for me, the negative thoughts are still there but because of my broader awareness and the space created through meditation, there is now room for me to break the cycle by noticing the thought and saying to myself "Just thinking" instead of immediately feeling a negative emotion as a result of the thought...which leads to the vicious cycle of more negative thoughts and feelings.  I am no longer trapped.

 Additionally, instead of reacting to situations or circumstances in life with typical, conditioned and often unconscious responses, meditation allows space for more intuitive, authentic and truthful action to arise.  Suddenly, we begin to see things with a different, almost crystal clear perspective. 

As Albert Einstein said "We cannot solve problems at the same level of consciousness that created them."